The Philosophy of Parenting
Kunz is right that parenting is an exercise in losing control, but only if it is treated as an exercise, i.e., an activity done for the sake of developing some worthwhile end. If parenting is not performed with this end in mind, then it involves losing control, but not as a matter of exercise. In other words, if the parent is passive with respect to the lost control, then there is no exercise involved; there is only a gradual though predictable attenuation of control that happens to the parent.
You see, parenting is activity, not passivity. One duty of a parent is to prepare the child to flourish as an adult human being. Such flourishing requires proper agency and autonomy — both intellectual and moral. A child likely will not develop these goods in a natural way if the parent does not relinquish control for the sake of the child’s freedom — which is one reason against so-called helicopter parenting.
If the parent does not practice this abnegation of control, in a progressive and responsible manner, the child eventually will demand it, perhaps being unprepared to maintain his freedom because the parent never cultivated it.
Finding and practicing this gradual and responsible surrendering of control is one of the hardest parts of parenting.